The Art of the "O"

Recently, I was packing up some books I was going to donate to the library or some other place books go to be useful once you've read them a dozen times. I came across my copy of Lou Paget's "The Big O." Fearing I may one day need this tidbit of information I decided to keep it.

What is it about the word orgasm that makes women blush and start tapping their foot uncontrollably on a carpeted surface? Why can't we just talk about it like the mature sex maniacs that we are?

Finding the book also happened to coincide with someone asking me what it feels like when I have an orgasm. (My husband shall remain nameless as the asker.)

Webster defines the orgasm as "an explosive discharge of neuromuscular tensions at the height of sexual arousal that is usually accompanied by the ejaculation of semen in the male and by vaginal contractions in the female."

HOW BORING!

I decided to ask around. Most notably, I asked my Dirty Laundry girls. I love these girls and I can always count on them to try to explain the unexplainable.

Dirty Girl (hereafter known as DG) number 1 said, "I guess I would describe it as a pot of water. First it starts out sort of tingly like the little bubbles at the bottom of the pot, then it builds, and builds until its boiling over. Then there are spasms. Well, now don't I feel like an orgasm loser."

DG number 2 said, "I'd say I'd describe it as an electrical surge or something. It build up and feels somewhere between too ticklish or sensitive and awesome and then crosses over into just awesome, then afterward you are the most relaxed you have ever felt.

Great job girls!

But its DG number 3 that really caused me concern. She said, "Well I'm not going to be ANY help. Why? I honestly don't think I've ever had one. Not alone or with anyone. It is very frustrating. Granted I do get enjoyment and I think I get what most call a climax but then it just doesn't haven any type of explosion and defintintely don't feel relaxed afterwards. I think I feel more bothered meaning wanting more as I'm guessing it really never happened."

I remember my first orgasm. I wasn't even having sex at the time. And to this DAY I can remember thinking, "THIS is what I have been missing?!?!" It was wildly intense and I never knew such a feeling existed. And even more surprising was that it had NOTHING to do with the penis! Yet, some 10 years later, I am still trying to figure out just what exactly I need to achieve the holy grail of voluntary seizures.

I figure practice makes perfect. Which is also my advice for DG #3. I also need to send her a copy of the book.

And maybe a plastic penis.